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I NOT DO THIS - I CANNOT SWIM
We decided to film Vit underwater - we asked him if he could swim - he said yes - we hired an underwater studio in south London used for the new Bond movie for two weeks before us - we dressed him in a pimp suit bought from portobello - all in white he stood at the side of the pool i put a reassuring hand on his shoulder 'alright Vit' he stared ahead impassive 'i not do this - i cannot swim' we'd already paid two hundred quid for the incredible non swimming dog now things really weren't turning out - finally he jumped in thrashed to the other side and out without the underwater frogmen below the water seeing him - traumatised he hid behind increasingly erratic english until the camera crew spoke to him as if he were a child 'Vit happy' - eventually we put weights in his pocket and the frogmen pulled him to the bottom by his ankles - where he thrashed without acting like a drowning man for thirty seconds - the next time we saw him he'd rediscovered his love of the restaurant business | |||||
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