The oldest trick in the rock n' roll book

the orb were playing the roselands theatre New York - tickets hadn't been hot cakes so the promoter was stoking the fire with additional programming - he wondered if he could play our prototype TV pilot called Teachings from the Electronic Brain which Astralwerks had mentioned to him - at first we declined - since Yage was still in production we didn't want derivatives confusing the issue - Astralwerks were intensely keen on the idea so we agreed on the proviso that the soundtrack came through the main stack - Pinn laughed muttering the words 'the oldest trick in the rock n' roll book' - towards the weekend not having been to New York I decided to jump across - after all it would be interesting to see if a film could work in that kind of environment - Virgin sorted out the details and come Friday I was off - at the other side an incredibly large man sat and waited in a white stretch limo - the front had been smashed the day before and steam rose from the bonnet - in the back Bowie piped away - there was a small hand - basin and lights stretched around the ceiling like christmas tree lighting and a small plastic flower looking like something at a funeral parlour - the driver launched into a critique of Bowie - as New York loomed in front people strained to see inside the limo - I wondered at which phase if at any I would feel comfortable with this and concluded that only when I'd finally become an ass'hole - you couldn't take this pastiche seriously.We sent the driver to collect some stimulants while we settled into the Royalton - an overpriced Phillip Stark designed hotel with staff that looked like models - immediately through the door I saw adam ant skulking and was given the once over by Michael Hutchence dolled up and on his way out the door .For the first night we succumbed to the New York rock n' roll visitors stereotype - line after line of coke until I wished I'd stayed in London - it's funny - years of reading about and ,being drilled with myth after myth about rock n'roll japes and it makes me feel even more like staying in and doing nothing with a cup of tea. after a sleepless night we entered consumer frenzy and spent the day buying things - arriving at the roselands at 4 in the afternoon for a soundcheck we were stopped at the door by an arrogant ass'hole who beckoned us over and then told us to back off cos he was eating - we started swearing at him but just as he was getting up the promoter arrived , calmed the situation and took us inside ,backhanding some stash in one smooth movement - I began to warm to the situation the orb were sound checking without alex and Maddi the promoter was looking after us showing us round - I re - itterrated our sound requirements and rather than hanging around for another hour left with everything under the control of Astralwerks. Arriving later with some noodles we'd picked up on E42'nd at a deli we were not immediately aware that Teachings was already being played - however when finally focussing we realized that it was already in progress and sounded like shit despite all the assurances - Maddi immediately started introducing us to people to ease his discomfort - we probably seemed like archetyple arrogant English wankers seeing as we'd just realized what had happened and were not in the mood for introductions - we'd just seen the flyer and this compounded the situation - splashed all over it was our chinese model from Lifeforms - yet again we were seen to be heavily endorsing something we'd tried to keep a tight rein on - Maddi meanwhile began to look increasingly like a character from Bugsy Malone 'a kid with an exaggerrated Brooklyn type drawl who began to explain too heavily that it was everyone's fault but his own - he said the orb had pulled contract ie they had freaked at the appearance of our film on the bill and were threatening to pull out - seeing as we hadn't charged money for showing the film and hadn't even thought of seeking contractual obligations from the promoter we were the weak link and therefore easily sacrificed - alex forcing us through the house pa at an hour when the place was half full with no atmosphere - it was beginning to be hard to define the truth ,it seemed that everyone had benefited from the fuck - up except us - gradually the place filled - alex dj'ed the most mind numbingly repetitive set of pounding techno i'd ever heard prior to the orb coming on and i began to see the whole exercise as one of a very controlled nature - one that alex had to entirely control so that the orb came out of it well and un scathed - even to the extent of intentionally dj'ing monotonously to make the orb seem diverse and interesting.The fat stack clicked in backed with a superb light show and the game of control - the game that had been played by thousands of rock bands throughout history was being played not for the last time - obviously the years on the road with Killing Joke hadn't been wasted - the two heads bobbing on the stage were safe for another night -